Are you looking for your last first date?

Sometimes, attraction between two people can be stymied or held in abeyance. When looking for that reaction that ignites the internal flames of magnetism, there are many factors to be considered. I pondered this tonight after encountering what I would deem to be an uncouth and irrational outlook.

Firstly, if you are like many who have suffered a death of a relationship (i.e., divorce), then what you must realize is that for an initial magnetism to have even a remote chance of happening, you must be ready for it with mind, body and soul. If you are missing any of these key elements, you will be unable to feel the pangs of true fire as you are unfit for giving of yourself as well as receiving of the other person.

Secondly, in terms of internet dating, if you have not cultivated a strong personal connection prior to meeting in person, then your first date may yield a goodnight and thank you at the end. It takes time to get to know the inner workings of an individual and scratching the surface with superficial talk over a dinner will not allow a person’s inner river to run freely. Initial attraction can easily be stifled if you do not know who or what you are seeking.

Thirdly, be sure you are single and available before going out on a date. I cannot stress this enough. It is downright rude and moreover obnoxious for you to go on a date with someone while you are dating someone else. This is highly insulting to the other person and shows your lack of good intentions, respect and decency. It is just classless. 

Finally, here are some helpful tips to help make your next date your last first date:

1.  Know the Core:  Before you go out on a first date with someone, email and talk on the phone more than a few times and really get to know the person. Who, not what are you looking for? What traits in a person are you most interested in? What is it about a person’s personality that attracts you the most? What attracts you the least? What type of person do you see yourself with? Gear yourself up for some meaningful, insightful conversation and know the person you will be going out with a bit before heading out the door.

2.  Plan the Know Each Other Date:  If you want a date that lights your fire, burns your passion and excites your senses to the point where the next one cannot come fast enough, then plan a date outside the realm of the usual. Plan a date where you can spend time alone with the other person to really get to know them. Trust me, if there is a spark to be made, it will catch fire. Some suggestions: meet up at a park on a Saturday afternoon and take a long walk together; take a walk on the boardwalk at the beach at night; plan a date at the amusement park – get silly and just have plain old fashioned fun; plan an exploration date (caves can be fun, exciting and romantic too). Whatever the date you plan, make it loose, carefree and let your hair down. And don’t forget the first kiss. That usually tells a whole lot.

3.  Proper Etiquette:  This is for the gentlemen. There is nothing more distasteful than a man who does not walk a woman to her car after a date, regardless of how bad or good the date went. Be respectful!  Bring the lady back to her car!

Okay, that’s my rant for today.

Good luck to all my single friends out there!

Love & Light

~Deborah